April 2012 | Be YOU tiful – A Celebration of YOU! | Be YOU tiful

Monthly Archives: April 2012

Stepping Stones To You… Step Four

Written on 29/04/2012 by beYOU-tiful in what makes women beautiful, written by michelle roberton-jones

Self love always seems to appear a bit of a “biggy” :) but when we put it into a new perspective it really isn’t the mountain we believed it to be.

People say to me “is that not wrong?” or “I don’t know how.”

But you see we give, share and show love with others, just by the little things we do and say… and all we need do is give “those little things” to our selves too.

This week look at your life and ask your self…

How do I show myself love?

How do I give myself love?

It is okay. I will give you some helpful tips :)

Soooooo :) after the stepping stones I have already shared with you. I asked myself the same questions and began to bring love, permission and approval into my own life rather than wanting and waiting for it from others.

I began to buy or pick fresh flowers every week and put them by my bed.

I made sure I meditated everyday; this time of silence, also a gift to myself.

I gave myself play time, time to dedicate to something I loved – yoga, hula hoop, dancing, Nia, baking a yummy cake, getting all my paints out and painting with my fingertips, playing on the swings, climbing trees or a walk along the beach.

I made time once a week to have a pyjama day. This would start with tea and biscuits in bed followed by a long hot bath with some oils, a home made facial, cosy pyjamas, a book, a funny or soppy film, fur blankets and a bar of chocolate.

Six years later and all these ways of self love are still in my life.

I made time in my life for “me”…a commitment to stop neglecting myself but to love myself, for in loving myself I knew my life and the lives of those around me would be richer…

I gradually changed my behavior from self punishment to self love, by asking myself in moments of self sabotaging actions if what was happening was “good enough for my daughter.”

If the answer was “no” I changed it… even if that meant stepping out of comfort zones and seeking help.

But most of all I stopped being my worst enemy and instead became my own lover, mother, father and best friend.

You see there is a person and a place I have to live with and in… every second of every day.

I am and my body is…

My home for life.

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It’s The Way You Wear It…

Written on 17/04/2012 by beYOU-tiful in fashion and style, written by samantha winstanley

Last week I went to a Rockabilly music night and if the revival of retro style fashion is anything to go by… the girls from the 1940′s and 50′s knew how to dress.

The vivid red lipstick, vintage dresses and retro music (think Boogie Woogie) all added to the atmosphere… but undeniably, it was the attitude ‘worn’ by the women – the sexy, sassy, cheeky, playfulness, that stood out most of all, and reaffirmed to me that what is most beautiful and alluring, in a woman, is exactly that… her attitude, energy and style.

Truly… it’s not so much what you wear, what’s underneath what you wear… or what size label is sewn inside your dress…

…it’s the way you wear your Self, that speak volumes to people.

Maybe the whole vintage fashion revival is so popular, because the style from that era supported women in feeling sexy, classy, feminine and admired, no matter what their body shape, or age.

Ofcourse, what makes any fashion style truly appealing or sexy… is the wearer’s attitude towards themselves.

To look beautiful on the outside, you have to first feel beyoutiful …and that starts on the inside, by learning to enjoy, love and accept your body and your self as you are …red lipstick optional. ;)

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Aging… A Beautiful Fact Of Life.

Written on 17/04/2012 by beYOU-tiful in beauty magazines, written by michelle roberton-jones

I found this of Madonna today on Facebook.

I have been an adoring fan of Madonna since I was fourteen … gosh, yes that long :)

To see this advertisement bought up questions for me…

The first one “why?”

And the second “who?”

We all know how old Madonna is and of course any woman at that age is going to have wrinkles, famous or not. So why are we… the public and her fans not allowed to see the truth of Madonna, celebrate her beauty, her talents, love her “Madonna- ness” through all her ages…

Who is it feels that aging is not acceptable?

The glossy magazines in which she appears or Madonna?

And why?

Surely this puts pressure on the famous to look a certain way and pressure on women to be able to follow suit.

Does beauty really have a “sell by date?”

We all age.

It’s a fact of life that’s been a fact of life since life began…

When, oh when, will glossy mags stop pretending it isn’t?

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Stepping Stones To You. Step Three

Written on 15/04/2012 by beYOU-tiful in what makes women beautiful, written by michelle roberton-jones

I am sure you have heard it said many times that young children are like sponges.

They absorb everything they hear and see. Not only do they absorb all this information but as open and innocent beings, they digest it as truth.

Why?

Because at such a young age, children are dependant upon others to help them explore and teach them about the world, others and their being. Children trust impeccably that what others say is truth, even if it doesn’t fit.

Now all these words flying around our daily environment are called interjects. There are positive interjects and negative interjects…

Most of the time we do not even realise that we have taken on these interjects as beliefs, beliefs that unless we review or let go off, we find ourselves unconsciously living our life by.

For example.

If a child is told often enough “you are stupid”, he grows up to believe he is stupid.

If a child is told “your art is rubbish”, he takes that opinion and turns it into his truth. Never again to explore his own creative potential.

My question to you this week, is what unhealthy interjects do you still carry as your truth?

Sit in an undisturbed place with a pen and plenty time and paper.
Breathe and ask that your body and your mind reveals to you all unloving words that you heard in the past, words you still hold to be true about yourself.
One by one write them all down. You may find this exercise difficult to start, but once the first interject is released, you will be surprised how quickly the others come tumbling out onto paper.
When you feel most empty, take these scraps of paper, breathe…
And in a safe environment burn them.

Stepping Stones To You. Step Two…

Written on 07/04/2012 by beYOU-tiful in by michelle roberton-jones, what makes women beautiful

The words we see and hear in our environment and every day lives can have a huge impact on the way we feel about ourselves.

Yesterday I suggested step one, removing all books and magazines on self improvement and instead filling the spaces with books on self acceptance.

We do not need to improve ourselves, only accept who we are already.

In acceptance there is no fight or struggle so change naturally happens rather than being forced…

To improve is a force. To accept is to allow.

At the very beginning of my own journey of self acceptance I used a lot of affirmations, affirming to myself positive and loving words rather than words of self judgement and criticism. But I found thinking the words or saying them were not enough, I was just rambling like a parrot… I had to FEEL for them for them to be real for me.

So I created two things that worked for me.

Firstly, whenever I used an affirmation I would close my eyes and really feel it, sensing where in my body I was fighting the new idea.

My throat would cease up or a funny feeling in the pit of my belly or even headaches. I would then sit for a while and have a mental conversation with this part of my body to discover why it was struggling to believe these new loving words as truth.

I wrote it all down, all the hurt, anger and ugly ideas of myself; it was like getting rid of toxins held in my body onto paper.

At the same time as working with my body in this new way, I changed my environment. I filled it with loving words. Most literally :)

I would write in bright pens, make them sparkle with glitter, draw smiley faces & leave these mini love posters in places I would see them.

On my mirrors, above the kettle. In my knickers drawer as a lovely welcome in the morning :) Inside cupboards, on the fridge door. In the bathroom, bedroom, lounge, kitchen.

Of course I got odd looks, how many homes do we visit where someone has posted all over the place loving messages to themselves?

But it was working!

I felt that like clothes, we have to try on new words and wear them in; before we can feel truly comfortable with them. They have to fit into our everyday life as if they have always been there.

It’s a huge step moving from “I hate my self” to “I love myself.”

I could not look into my own eyes and say “I love you.” It felt too big.

By putting the words up around my home I was gradually becoming used to them being in my life, until I actually began to believe them! That was when the magical journey of seeing, loving and accepting myself in new ways began.

To suddenly see myself without the ugly goggles of illusion I had been wearing for years was a moment in my life I am sure I will never forget.

What I have shared with you may seem like too simple a step but I have come to learn it is always the little steps that make the really big changes.

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Stepping Stones To You. Step One…

Written on 07/04/2012 by beYOU-tiful in by michelle roberton-jones, what makes women beautiful

Mmm, so what would my suggestion of a first step be, to loving you just the way you are…

Spring clean your book shelves, your coffee table.

Remove all books, magazines on self improvement.

You don’t need improving!

Now fill these new wonderful spaces with books, images and quotes on self acceptance. x

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A Quest For REAListic Glossy Magazines

Written on 05/04/2012 by beYOU-tiful in beauty magazines, by michelle roberton-jones

Today I have found myself flicking through a high street magazine, something I have not done for a long, long time.

I don’t mean to seem as if I have been in a time warp but life became less drama and more peace without the world of gloss… I honestly didn’t realize it had got so, well, drastically… what’s the word, yes “anal.”

It was jam packed with every other article on how to banish cellulite, punish our bodies with another diet promise and rid ourselves of signs of ageing. I did not spot one pair of legs owning cellulite, one model bigger than a size ten or one wrinkled face. I did not read one word suggesting self acceptance or” loving what you got babe” …only rituals and potions of self improvement.

I wanted to yell “oh come on now, get real!”

There in my hands in smooth paper was proof as to why young girls and women struggle with what they have… punishing, rejecting, tucking, shaving, injecting and dieting to become what… more fake?

Almost 85% of women have cellulite and as my son asked as he peeped over my shoulder, “where are that 15% then mum?”

Why don’t the magazines give us tips on how to accept cellulite as part of being a women, it seems pretty clear “it” wants to stay and is part of our make up. Creams, treatments and punishment galore and still the “cellulite curse” lingers for that 85% woman…

As for size and aging, is that not our nature and something to be honored, surely not fought against.

Why not give us real images with depth to admire rather than airbrushing away things that are seen as undesirable but are in fact the nature of woman.

The media promotes fake… how about empowering women to be REAL.

Letting us know from a young, impressionable age that we are ALL beautiful. ALL worthy of being adored and treasured. That the bodies we have are perfect, just as they are …big boobies, little boobies, scars, stretch marks, cellulite, all sizes, pubic hair and all.

How about showing men real photos with no airbrushing, no fake boobies, and no botox so that women don’t feel they have to look like Barbie to be sexy, successful, loved and accepted.

Yes, we want REAL men but I believe first women need REAL women.

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Samantha Brick – Media Manipulation

Written on 04/04/2012 by beYOU-tiful in by samantha winstanley, media stories

‘A UK columnist who created global controversy by claiming women hate her because she’s beautiful, says the backlash just proves the world hates a “pretty woman”.’ – Daily Telegraph

Today I heard the story of Samantha Brick and the storm it has caused in the media, over her claims she is so beautiful, other women loathe her.

It’s hard to take this story too seriously… to be fair, it seems more than anything, this journalist wanted to provoke a reaction from people and the way the story was presented was guaranteed to upset a few folk.

But the way her story was received with such astonishment and shock, did raise some interesting questions… like why did reading about a woman who believes she is beautiful, cause such mass ‘disgust’ and uproar?

I can’t help but wonder, if this women had been a 6ft supermodel with flawless good looks …would the reaction have been different, more light-hearted and dismissive …a little less ‘vicious’ perhaps?

I wonder… has the media simply tried to manipulate us all again, using this woman and her story, as bait… to pitch both women and men against women who dare to declare aloud… that shock horror – they do infact, feel… beautiful? Especially women who do not fit the typically idea of what you might find on the cover of a glossy magazine

The mass panic could be felt as soon as this story hit the press with a palpable feeling of ‘Lets burn this witch alive and stop this nonsense before other ‘ordinary’ looking women start claiming they are beautiful too!’

Because imagine that …a world full of women who felt truly beautiful and empowered!

Yes indeed… imagine.

‘I have lived and worked in Los Angeles and I doubt that such a reaction to my piece would have happened there. For in the U.S. you’re expected to look good and you’re rightly applauded for it.’ and ‘..over in the U.S. there just isn’t the same level of female jealously, snippiness and rivalry that there is the UK.’

‘It’s a little peek behind the curtain at how the media deliberately pits women against women for fun and profit.’ – www.jezebel.com

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