Monthly Archives: May 2012

Stepping Stones To You… Step Five.

In the past four stepping stones to you, we have talked about “how we think about our bodies” and how our present thoughts and words of the past can have an incredibly huge effect on how safe, how loved and how beautiful we feel in our own skin.

Hopefully by following the stepping stones, you have seen the effects of how simply by changing our mind about ourselves, our bodies and our lives and releasing old beliefs, we start to feel happier and more empowered.

In these “Stepping stones To You”, I am sharing with you my own process from mass self destruction to self love…

Guiding you through doorways to making “peace” with your body.

So this week, seeing as you are all in full flow with releasing negative interjects and filling your lives with loving words, I would like to move onto the next stepping stone…

Movement.    

You see it is one thing to have lived in this body for 40 years but another to know how to drive it, how it likes to move …what it feels is punishment and what it feels is pleasure.

Before we feel completely safe and at ease driving a car, we have to have driven it around the block, into town and back a few times and maybe a trip or two on the motorway. We become one with the car, know how far to push it… we know its limits, its character, its funny little ways, what it likes and what makes it conk out on us.

Your body is no different.

Feeling safe in your own skin, is to know your body, to move with and in it, to nourish, honour and cherish your body, take pleasure and pride in “owning” it …yes, just like that battered old car outside that you are so very proud of and your heart bursts every time you get behind the wheel and take it for a drive… singing with a contented heart.

Now I discovered that my body loved to move in the same way as my spirit, I was not into fast pace sports, I have never wanted a sports car :) I was not into punishing my body taking it to the extreme and getting all sweaty… movement for me had to be well full of childish freedom and fun!                                                                                                                                                               

So I took up hula hoop classes.

Boy, was this great… my own glittery, sparkly whiryly twirly ever so girly hoop!  Not only did it look pretty and felt sexy but after practice, I “got in touch” with my sacral in soft sensual ways, it healed and opened a most essential part of being a woman. And just as a little bonus toned my tummy and bum :)

I tried out different yoga styles, until I found the one that suited me … not a practice simply for the body but a yoga that embraced my mind and spirit too.  My body shape changed as parts for the first time became free.  I felt whole, balanced and focused.

I tried out different dance classes but being a bit clumsy after 38 years of rejecting my imaginary fat thighs, this proved more tough… until I found Nia, a fusion of dance, yoga and martial arts, with some choreography but oodles of yummy free dance…

A perfect opportunity to listen to my body and move it at it’s will, not another’s or mine :)

My body started to soften, trust me… relax.

Really show me what it could do and wanted to do for me.

It became no longer an alien place to live but a sacred home.                   

Sometimes a certain “move” would have a message, a memory stored, an old pain and then just as the movement flowed so too would healing and my body would breathe in a new way…invite me into deeper places.

I no longer felt on the edge of my body looking in but deeply rooted.

This was surprisingly the safest I had ever felt in my life and yet for so long this was the one place I refused to be.

The thing is the gym may make a body look firm and toned but a hard cold leather chair isn’t for everyone, personally I prefer to relax in a chair that will hold me no matter how much I wiggle, every position feeling safe, comfortable.  I want to know every contour, every crease and story of that chair and for it to let me explore it.

I think the key for me was wanting so much to feel I belonged and I knew belonging in my body was the major step required.

For too long I had punished it. I wanted to explore pleasure with my body, so I looked at ways to move it, that were exciting to me, lit up that “light” in me and made me sparkle … most of these things turned out to be what I loved as a child … dancing barefoot, twirling with a hoop, skating, walking on the cool sands.

All allowing natural, soft movements full of joy.

My question to you this week is…

What movements bring your body, your mind, your soul… oh and very importantly the “child within” pleasure and joy. 

The answers to this question, will be the key to the door you are looking for :)

Ways to Nourish Your Body, Being, Heart and Soul

ways-to-nourish-your-soulGive your Self the gift of nourishment.

Eat wholesome foods, think positive thoughts, take right action.

Listen to beautiful, gentle music and soothing mantras.

Meditate and rest.

Treat yourself to walks in nature and time spent doing what you love.

Bathe in scented water and anoint yourself with fragrant oil.

Dress in a way which makes you feel good.

Fill yourself up with the gift of self love.

Nourish your own heart and soul.

For when you are full, this love naturally overflows to other people.

You’ll become a beautiful, radiant, beacon of light.

Your heart and aura will begin to glow – as Joy bubbles from within.

This is your Soul’s natural state of Being…

…the essence of true beauty.

 

Ways to Nourish Your Soul Exercise:


Choose one small act of self love to incorporate into your daily routine this week.

It could be anything you like that helps you to feel nourished and alive inside.

Some examples:

 

Make a specially prepared meal, full of nutritious, delicious food.

Take a beautiful, warm bath, with sea salts and essential oils.

Join a hobby or exercise class you’ve always wanted to try.

Dedicate an hour to painting or creating, just for fun.

Book a manicure, pedicure or body massage.

Apply a facemask and then remove it, speaking loving words of kindness and acceptance for what you see in the mirror

Massage your favourite lotion or oil onto the body parts you find hardest to love. Do so while asking your body for forgiveness and telling your arms, tummy, legs, cellulite etc… you are now prepared to learn, to unconditionally love and accept these parts of you, no matter what.

Make a ritual of putting on your favourite scent/perfume everyday… don’t wait for ‘special’ occasions.

Plan a date with friends or loved ones who make you laugh and feel good.

Relax and take a walk in nature each evening after work.

Curl up with an uplifting book or your favourite, feel good movie.

Treat yourself to fresh flowers or buy yourself something nice - it doesn’t have to be expensive, just something that delights your senses.

Sing, dance and move to your favourite music track.

Think of other ways to nourish your soul – it can be any activity that assists you to feel uplifted, joyful and loved.

 

Even allocating just a little time to nourishing your Self each day…

…can make a huge difference to how you feel inside.

 

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BeYOU Beauty Tip 01: Affirmations

woman-hugging-herselfReal Beauty Tip 01:

Create a personal affirmation/mantra to remind you of your true value, beauty and worth.

You might like to decide on a single word, or a simple sentence.

Choose something that feels good, strong and powerful for you.

You could write it on a note and put it in your pocket/purse, stick it were you can see it, paint it, or just memorize and repeat when ever you need a little boost throughout your day.

Affirmations and mantras are powerful, sacred tools you can carry with you throughout your life, wherever you go.

love-yourself-moreDon’t wait for someone else to tell you, you are loveable, worthy or beautiful. Tell yourself.

Loving who you are is the most empowering thing you will ever do, for yourself, your life here, and those around you.

When you say your mantra, try to really feel the truth of the word/statement in your body.

Imagine the mantra nourishing your heart and spreading outwards, into a smile.

Here are some suggested statements, but feel free to create your own:

‘I am as I was created to be’.

‘Love’.

‘Everyday in every way, I’m feeling better and better’.

‘All is Well’.note-to-self-body-love-affirmation

‘I love myself… just as I am today’.

‘I am beautiful, inside and out’.

‘I see and feel my true beauty now.’

‘I am a radiant being of light, inside and out’.

‘I walk with beauty before me and all around me’.

‘True beauty is seen with the heart, not the eyes’.

‘My body is Divine.’

‘I am as God created me’

‘I am thankful for all I am and all I can be’.

‘I am thankful for my beautiful (insert body part)

‘I love my body, no matter what’

 

True Beauty Is An Inside Job

consumerism-imageAfter spending several hours walking around the high street, being bombarded by flawless, photo-shopped images, it’s not hard to feel a little perplexed and jaded, as you think to yourself… what on earth is going on?

Or maybe you’re so used to it now, you just shrug and raise an eyebrow, as you pull your child along, while both of you pass image after image of advertisements, usually featuring unrealistic, sexualized images of women. Sometimes subtle, other times not so subtle at all.

In shops, in magazines, we’re fed standards of digital beauty, which are not easy to meet, unless we obsess, stress and use up our valuable time and energy to do so – time and effort we could instead spend productively, doing what we love and enjoy… things that might actually advance us on our path as wo/men, change the world for the better, and bring us a much deeper sense of inner respect and fulfillment – than trying to look like a surgically enhanced pin up girl.

Yet so many women have felt the pressure to fit this kind of ‘ideal’ …fed these kind of images day after day, it’s not hard to occasionally loose sight, that what is truly beautiful and attractive in a person, is not just the appearance of their body, or what brand of clothing they wear.

True beauty is a person’s sense of self worth, inner well-being and happiness …alongside their presence, passion, gifts and joy.

But by way of distraction, society’s obsession of ‘keeping up appearances’, can actually weaken our dedication, as a race, to what we’re actually here to do.

And what we are all here to do, is fulfill our Souls calling.

Our Soul’s calling is NOT to towie-faces-behind-the-fake-makeupobsess over the pictures in the media and spend our life on worry, because we don’t live up to them.

It is not to obsess about making ourselves attractive for the benefit of those who can not see value beyond the body and appearances alone.

Your soul’s calling is to unashamedly live your life with joie de vivre, gusto and passion, in a way that is uniquely fulfilling to your life, regardless of what you look like, or how you might outwardly appear.

Regardless of what others think of, or may judge you to be.

I’m not saying don’t make any effort to look and feel nice – it’s important to look presentable for yourself – to take care of your bodies health and well-being, and to feel beautiful inside and out.

But when looks and beauty become an obsession, in a way that causes stress and worry, at the expense of living a happy, carefree life, at the detriment of going out into the world to fulfill your higher purpose… then it’s maybe time reconsider our priorities as wo/men, about what makes our self, our society, and our life a truly fulfilling and beautiful experience.

In the Words of Martina McBride – This One is for The Girls

girl_looking_in_a_mirror_self_esteemIn the words of Martina McBride – This one is for the girls.

More and more these days society pushes for girls and women to be pencil thin and just right. Here are a few words of wisdom – you are perfect just the way you are! Women and girls need to be happy with who they are. So you are not the perfect size 4 or 6 – big deal. You are you, you are the essence of perfection that the universe intended you to be. It maddens me and saddens me to see a good portion of our female society literally killing themselves to be “perfect”. They are already perfect – in exactly the way they are intended to be. So here are a few words from me that I sincerely hope fall on the ears of the girls and women struggling with societies view of the “perfect body”.

curvy-women-jeansWear clothes that fit you and don’t worry about the number. Too many people are hung up on the number tagged to the back of their jeans. It is just that – a number. Someone at some point decided to assign a number to a specific size of jeans, which turns out to not be all that specific at all. When you stop letting the world dictate what you should be able to fit into and start wearing the clothes that actually fit you will feel so much better about yourself. Seriously- does anyone feel good and comfortable when they are uncomfortable because the jeans or shirts they are wearing don’t fit? Nope – I have not met a single person that finds this to be comfortable. Stop worrying about the number because when you wear what fits you exude beauty – it literally pours from you. Why? Because you are comfortable.

Take the time to look in the mirror each day and repeat all that is wonderful about you. When you believe in your natural born beauty – other people will too. It is the natural flow and ebb of things. You say this is easier said than done – maybe – but so completely worth it. I have met women who are not your standard bikini model and they are beautiful. They wear what fits and what suits them and their beauty just follows them around. Size is just a number – a number that you should not worry about.

I can not say it enough – you are absolutely beautiful just like you are.

Be proud of you – you are exactly what you were meant to be. Don’t allow society to dictate your size, personality or anything else. Eat healthy, get some exercise and enjoy being who you are.

Many thanks to Demetria Rupkey for her guest post contribution. Find out more about Demetria’s work here:

 

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