Yesterday I suggested step one, removing all books and magazines on self improvement and instead filling the spaces with books on self acceptance.
We do not need to improve ourselves, only accept who we are already.
In acceptance there is no fight or struggle so change naturally happens rather than being forced…
To improve is a force. To accept is to allow.
At the very beginning of my own journey of self acceptance I used a lot of affirmations, affirming to myself positive and loving words rather than words of self judgement and criticism. But I found thinking the words or saying them were not enough, I was just rambling like a parrot… I had to FEEL for them for them to be real for me.
So I created two things that worked for me.
Firstly, whenever I used an affirmation I would close my eyes and really feel it, sensing where in my body I was fighting the new idea.
My throat would cease up or a funny feeling in the pit of my belly or even headaches. I would then sit for a while and have a mental conversation with this part of my body to discover why it was struggling to believe these new loving words as truth.
I wrote it all down, all the hurt, anger and ugly ideas of myself; it was like getting rid of toxins held in my body onto paper.
At the same time as working with my body in this new way, I changed my environment. I filled it with loving words. Most literally :)
I would write in bright pens, make them sparkle with glitter, draw smiley faces & leave these mini love posters in places I would see them.
On my mirrors, above the kettle. In my knickers drawer as a lovely welcome in the morning :) Inside cupboards, on the fridge door. In the bathroom, bedroom, lounge, kitchen.
Of course I got odd looks, how many homes do we visit where someone has posted all over the place loving messages to themselves?
But it was working!
I felt that like clothes, we have to try on new words and wear them in; before we can feel truly comfortable with them. They have to fit into our everyday life as if they have always been there.
It’s a huge step moving from “I hate my self” to “I love myself.”
I could not look into my own eyes and say “I love you.” It felt too big.
By putting the words up around my home I was gradually becoming used to them being in my life, until I actually began to believe them! That was when the magical journey of seeing, loving and accepting myself in new ways began.
To suddenly see myself without the ugly goggles of illusion I had been wearing for years was a moment in my life I am sure I will never forget.
What I have shared with you may seem like too simple a step but I have come to learn it is always the little steps that make the really big changes.